The Benefit of Our Children Suffering
That we suffer is everywhere evident. “Man is born unto trouble” is putting it mildly, we might say. Why we suffer is not always as evident. Sometimes it is so not evident, that we are left with questions as to why this or that has happened to us. Then answers as to why we suffer are varied and many. Everything from God is glorified to we are reaping what we sowed is given as a reason or answer. My intent in these words is not to answer all the whys in regards to suffering. There are answers, and good ones. Rather, I am thinking of a particular type of suffering that is very practical and good for its recipient. It is reflected in my title. That is the suffering and hardships children need and have to experience (one way or another) growing. up. In fact, if they don’t experience certain types of suffering, they will not grow up as they ought. I note this because we live in a day and age when we do all we can to alleviate suffering and consequences to a fault. It was the opposite at other times. Justice can be dominant to the exclusion of mercy, and hardness comes from that. But mercy without justice results in softness, sinfully and debilitatingly so. The tendency in our day is to pamper our children, not allowing them to experience the consequences of their decisions. We are constantly “bailing” them out. Guess where that phrase came from?! That is right. It comes from parents posting bail to get their child out of jail. I have seen this many times. And more than once I have had parents tell me that is it. They let them sit in the clinker this time. And we would all say it was about time! Yet were no different in other areas, maybe not so large lawfully, but just as larger in regards to their virtue or lack thereof. Brethren, Solomon wrote to his children at one point that “if you be wise, you shall be wise for yourself: but if you scorn, you alone shall bear it.” As us so they must learn the “hard way” some of the things necessary to grow up. They must pay their own bills, take care of themselves, make their own decisions, and fix their own messes! Granted we ought to train them up properly, and the better we do, the better for them, but even then there will be a certain amount suffering that accompanies growing up. It is good to know that the example we have set and instruction we have given will eventually be accessed to their benefit. But it takes time and suffering. Don’t allow your emotions to thwart this (get in the way). Eventually the door has to be closed in their faces, the strings cut, and they must paddle their own boats. That is life. Welcome to the world! And they may even relish their new found freedoms as they come. Fine. And we are for them in all regards. But is it wise to let them suffer in order to learn. “It is good that I have been afflicted,” the Psalmist wrote. Why? “That I might learn thy statues.” And as our children suffer the afflictions that come from doing wrong and from doing right (either way) they will likewise learn His statues. Think of your own sufferings and the good it has brought in growing up. Yes, maybe our parents could have noted them more and lent a word of comfort, or even trained us better, but it was their forcing us to bear the brunt of our own decisions as we grow older that was necessary for us to learn and grow. May we be wise in this. In this day of pampering and excessive mercy, we need to allow our children to bear alone the rugged and at times cruel consequences of living in a fallen world. A world that hates God and a world that God demands we reap the consequences of our actions.