Roles in Marriage- the Wife

Posted by Jim on Dec 27, 2009
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A man once said to me, “Leading my home has been a lot like walking a Doberman. You think you’re in charge, but it’s a lot easier to just let her do what she wants.”
Sadly, this wife does not understand God’s design for her life. Genesis 2:18-24 gives us details about the creation of woman and the reason God did so. “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. . . And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
Though creation was ‘good’ and ‘very good’ by the time it was completed, before the woman was created, it was ‘not good’ for Adam to be alone. But instead of immediately creating the woman, God first commanded Adam to name the animals. This was not because God could not name them, but to ‘whet his appetite’, to show Adam what was missing before filling the need.
Eve was made to be Adam’s ‘help meet.’ This one Hebrew word is used 19 times in the Old Testament translated ‘help’ and connotes a similar idea to the Greek parakletos, ‘one called along side another for the purpose of aiding.’ This Greek word is used four times of the Holy Spirit, and once of Christ (1 John 2:1) Thus, in application, God’s main purpose in making woman, and the primary role of a wife, is to come alongside her husband to help him. God has called him to serve in specific ways and her role is to help him accomplish God’s goals for him.
That sounds easy and probably would be apart from Genesis 3. One consequence on Eve for the fall is given in this phrase: “. . . thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” (3:16) The structure of the Hebrew sentence is identical to that of 4:7 where God says to Cain, “And unto thee shall be his (sin’s) desire, and (but) thou shalt rule over him (sin).” It is an antithetical expression and could be translated, “You will desire to control Adam; however, he is to rule over you.” This conflict, whether great or small, has continued to reek havoc on marital relationships ever since then. In contrast, it is a delight to meet a wife who understands and accepts this, her role and God’s perfect plan for her life. (Next week we will discuss the much harder role of the husband.)

Family Matters and the First Christmas

Posted by Jim on Dec 20, 2009
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The first two chapters of Luke and Matthew tell us the very familiar Christmas story. Let us consider it in light of what it teaches about family matters.
Singles: Imagine an angel suddenly appearing to you as a single girl and saying you will be the mother of the Son of God! Yet, we learn from Scripture that the choice of Mary was not without reason. She expected to live an ordinary life, but had prepared herself for an extraordinary life. When she praised God while visiting Elizabeth, Mary quoted from 14 Old Testament Scriptures. Her response to the angel, “I am your handmaid” demonstrated her deep love for God. Her surrender cost her her reputation, her plans, her peace, and at times her joy.
Engagement: Matthew tells us that Joseph struggled when he found Mary was with child. He was a just man so wanted to obey Scripture concerning an apparently unfaithful fiancée. He was also a loving man and didn’t want to humiliate Mary publicly. Like his future step-Son he loved both grace and truth. This was Jesus’ earthy influence. When Joseph learned that her child was the Son of God, he took her, knowing he would be accused of favoring love over justice. He too forfeited his reputation to obey God.
Struggles: the world is full of troubles and certainly families are not exempt. The first problem the couple faced was an 80 mile trip during Mary’s last days before delivery. Once they arrived, no relative had an empty room for them. They graciously accepted the shelter of a barn or cave and there, in the filth and stench, Joseph as midwife helped deliver the Son of God! The troubles continued. Their rest was interrupted by a group of shepherds who were told of the birth. The couple decided to stay in Bethlehem. Perhaps it was to avoid wagging tongues back home.
Dedicating a child: Mary and Joseph took their new baby to the Temple twice. Eight days after birth He was circumcised and given the name Jesus. Forty days after birth Mary and Joseph dedicated their first-born to the Lord and offered two turtledoves (evidence they were poor) for Mary’s purification. Though we are not under the law, it is still a good idea, whether public or private, to dedicate our children to God. Ask God to bless and use the child, and ask Him for wisdom in training the child to grow in wisdom and favor with God and man.
Authority: Over a year passed. Now as a married couple, the angel warned Joseph (not Mary) of a threat on Jesus’ life by Herod. Ladies, imagine being awakened by your husband in the night. He just had a dream and you must flee empty-handed 200 miles to another country! Yet Mary trusted that God was speaking through him. God still chooses to work through authority structures, even imperfect ones, to reveal His will for us.